Fortress
by Alien Altered
Summary: You hide behind a fortress of power, money, social standing, lies, hate, and maybe a bit of self-loathing. Because you’ve become the person that everyone wanted you to be...' Jake Kane's thoughts and feelings about Veonica. Please read and review.


So maybe you lied

So maybe you lied. But that was what life had become – lies, betrayal. You lie because it's what you should feel, you say the right words when they should be said; it's not about the truth, it's about hiding. Hiding what you want, how you feel - hiding the real you. You hide behind a fortress of power, money, social standing, lies, hate, and maybe a bit of self-loathing. Because you've become the person that everyone wanted you to be. You've got the beautiful wife, the perfect kids, the huge mansion and the massive amount of cash – but it's not how you wanted it. Your kids aren't perfect, they're troubled. Your wife is still beautiful, but she's become superficial and disturbed. Your 'picture perfect' life has fallen apart and not even your money can fix it.

The day Lily brought Veronica Mars home you realised she had her mothers' looks and you wondered how two girls as different as Lily and Veronica could be best friends. Was that a sign? You watched your son fall in love and understood that this girl had not only the potential to ruin you, but to break your sons' heart. She was amazing and you saw a lot of Lianne in her. You kept searching for bits of yourself, knowing that the only reason you wouldn't want her to be yours was the pain it would cause Duncan. Because this girl was amazing.

It was slightly freaky watching Duncan and Veronica and seeing yourself and Lianne. You had once been like that, and the amazing girl your son adored may be proof of that. Scary, and possibly troubling, you supported their relationship, whilst Celeste fought it everyday. They didn't know they could be related so it was only fair your son and possible daughter found happiness (even if it was in each other).

It appeared so sudden, when her 'picture perfect' world collapsed, at the same time yours broke further. Lianne left, Lily was murdered and everything fell down around yourself and Veronica. You watched from a distance as she began to build a new life. Like a phoenix she rose from the ashes of her old existence. You watched her change and found yourself proud of her transformation. She always stood up for herself, but now she did it more openly. She was no longer a slave to the 09ers. And when she signed away her rights to your money you knew you were supposed to feel relieved, but you didn't; you felt proud and strangely disappointed. So proud were you that she obviously didn't care about money the way everyone else seemed to. She didn't want the money, or title, or anything – she wanted her modest home, with her meagre father. She'd seen the way the rich lived and she turned that down, to be herself – to be real. When you established for sure that Veronica was not in fact your spawn you were disappointed. Because now there was no reason to include her in your will. The girl who had loved your son, been best friend to your daughter and uncovered the truth about your baby's murder was going to get no thanks. You were disappointed because you were no longer allowed to feel proud of all that she's done, because she would never really be apart of your life again, and because without her as your child you had to accept the fact that your family was completely broken. And the one person who had offered at least a bit of comfort to the shattered world of Kane was not a part of it. The one girl you respected more than anything and owed more than life was not your offspring. She was part of a family of two with no money, and not many possessions. Veronica MARS had pieced Duncan back together, had assisted getting the child and him to safety, and discovered who had murdered Lily. She had helped them, wanting nothing in return. That was the type of child you wanted as your own.

When she stood up to you, argued, wanted the truth about the photos of her in a target you had been overwhelmed. You were proud that she would stand up to someone like you, scared for her safety, angry that maybe your wife had ordered her killed, sad she would accuse you and worried about the consequences. She'd changed so much since Lily died, everyone had. But she was still the same, only maybe a bit less conceited.

You always adored her. She was an amazing girl. In contrast to your other daughter Veronica wasn't rude, cruel, rebellious, or toffee-nosed. She was simply Veronica. You owe her so much. Keith must be proud of her, as proud as you are. Thinking back you know deep inside that Keith deserves her more than you. And you know that if you and Keith and Veronica could move past everything, forget everything, then you'd all get along well. But you know that'll never happen. So you're stuck watching her from afar and pretending you're not proud.

The thing about the fortress, once you're in, it's hard to find the way out – most don't mind and the rare few that do? Some get lucky and break free, but most never manage to escape. And every once in a while you find yourself jealous of those outside the castle, because they can be who they want, not who the others want. You watch, far from view, watching over the world hoping to one day be part of THE world, rather than YOUR world. But you don't really want that, not really.


End file.
